Episode 21: Forgiveness: It’s More Than A Feeling

Many of us have recited the words with ease “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us…” But what does that really mean? Why is forgiving so much harder to do than to say?

Unforgiveness begins with an offense. The Greek word for offense is skandalon, which means to snare or trap. Some offenses are truly damaging, and others lead us to a point of nagging annoyance or bitterness. When we habitually don’t forgive offenses, we stay trapped in a cycle of pain and defeat. 

Here’s three of the most common types of offense:

1.     Offensive Burs: Like the small thorns that remain stuck in your clothes, these are the comments aimed toward you with the intent to hurt. These things, said or unsaid, that begin to collect in your life. 

2.     Offensive Blows: These are verbal attacks; assaults to your identity or character. Actions or words intended to harm you. They become blows to your worth and purpose.

3.     Offensive Boulders: These are the biggies and could come in the form of betrayal by a spouse, abandonment or abuse. It could even be a criminal act or something that alters your life and emotions.

When we forgive someone there’s always a measure of sacrifice. This sacrifice forgoes our right to blame, take revenge, or play the victim. Forgiveness is a choice to let go of the ropes that tie us to the offense. Sadly, we often believe myths that portray the wrong ideas about what it means to forgive.

MYTH #1: I don’t feel like forgiving.

MYTH# 2:  Forgiveness excuses sin.

MYTH #3:  I can wait for time to heal all wounds.

MYTH# 4: I can forgive and forget. No problem.

MYTH #5:  I can stuff my pain away. There’s no sense in dealing with it.

 2 Samuel 12 tells a chilling story of King David when he finally sees and admits his sin. After openly dealing with what needed to be forgiven, he was able to wash himself and move forward—free from the pain and sin. The same is true for us when we choose to forgive.

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