The desire to please others isn’t always a bad thing—as a matter of fact, God is a God who feels pleased (Matthew 3:17) and loves to please. Pleasing becomes a problem when we take it to one of these extremes: not caring at all what people think…resulting in a callous and reckless demeanor; or caring too much what people think…resulting in a desperate commitment to satisfy others at all costs.

The Apostle Peter struggled greatly with the need to please. His personality was ripe for both the ego boost that makes a pleaser feel loved—and the humiliation that can send a pleaser straight to despair. As a brawny fisherman from Capernaum (a fishing village), Peter was primarily known for catching fish—but after Jesus invited him to a different type of fishing, his world completely changed. Here are three events that caused his ego to soar:

1. Matthew 14—Jesus multiplied food rations and Peter got to deliver food to almost 15,000 people! Compliments and high fives abounding…it was good to be on TEAM JESUS.

2. Later that night Peter walked on water after battling a storm for upwards of 6 hours. He’s the only human to ever walk on water like the Lord Jesus. Although he started to sink midway…he did something no one else has ever done, an immediate boost to the dark side of his ego.

3. In Matthew 16, Peter experienced the conversation of a lifetime. Jesus told him He’d give him the keys to the kingdom. He also called him a rock…and said He’d build His church on the rock! Talk about a compliment…Peter’s pleasing nature was soaring.

In times like this we must remember, those God chooses to lift up are only elevated so HIS name can receive praise, not so we can feel better about ourselves.

Oswald Chambers says, “The test of our spiritual life is the power to descend; if we have power to rise only, something is wrong. It’s a great thing to be on the mountain with God, but a person only gets there in order that afterwards they may get down among the devil-possessed and lift them up. The mount is not meant to teach us anything, it’s meant to make us something.

Popular Peter was about to fall off his mount of accolades to the valley of humiliation.

First, he rebukes the plans Jesus mentions that don’t sound inviting—unpopular crowds trying to kill Jesus are a far cry from what he’s used to. Jesus looks Peter square in the eye and speaks to satan’s attempts to thwart His purpose. Then, in a final heap of frustration after Jesus’s arrest, Peter denies even knowing the Lord he’s been living with for three years. Ultimately, he was afraid to admit who he truly was and whose he was—because he was afraid of disapproval.

Consider these threads of people pleasing:

· Do you want things to be smooth, free from turmoil or conflict—no matter the cost?

· Do you often sacrifice purpose for performance?

· Do you need approval to cover a scar or lonely heart?

· Do you find yourself in a compromising state because you’re trying to accommodate several viewpoints?

The answer to this is found in Jesus’s conversation with Peter on the beach before the ascension. Want to know what He said? Listen to this episode and hear the perfect remedy to trying too hard to please.

Have thoughts or questions about today’s episode? Message us or leave a comment below.

Episode 23: The Problem with People Pleasing