Episode 106: Relationship Trauma w/ Amanda Moore, LPC
One of the hardest things to handle emotionally is the break, fracture, or unreliability of a relationship that we’ve loved or trusted. Our Gutsy Faith partner, Amamda Moore, from Wonder Christian Counseling, joins us as we talk about the trauma some relationships hold.
Amanda shares “There is “Big T” and “Little T” trauma.” Big “T” Trauma describes the life events that mark and change us. Things like accidents, divorce, emotional and physical harm, death, or betrayal. Little “t” trauma describes things that add up over time. Things such as constant or harsh criticism, bullying, frustrated or dashed dreams, and circumstances that make you question your value and purpose.
The Bible shows us a model of a man who struggled with both Big T and Little T. His name is Joseph.
In Genesis 37:18-28 we see a dysfunctional family making all the glaring mistakes. Joseph’s father favors him over all the other children, and Joseph, at 17 years of age, doesn’t know how to manage the vision God has given, and the reality of rough and dangerous brothers who were jealous.
He ends up being attacked, thrown into an empty pit, and then sold to a slave caravan. (Think modern day trafficking by your own brothers!)
Over time, Joseph works hard and wins the favor of those he serves. Like all forms of trauma, there are different layers of intensity. This is extreme.
Genesis 39:1-6 shows that Joseph didn’t get stuck in his trauma. Years went by and God healed him—preparing him for what was ahead. But how? It’s often said that TIME heals all wounds. This is not in the Bible, and it isn’t really true! GOD heals all wounds. If we give Him our time, He can heal the layers of trauma that caused the wound itself, and the oozing pain that comes in the form of bitterness, anger and revenge.
After becoming a successful man in Egypt, Joseph suffers another bout of trauma as he was wrongly convicted of something he did not do. Years go by in prison, but again, God’s favor and healing calmed the trauma and God was faithful to Joseph.
After Joseph’s release he became a top leader in the country, and during a time of famine, the very brothers that sold him to slave traders were now in his presence, in need of food.
All trauma can eventually come to a point of revelation. This revelation is a timeframe where God reveals to you why and what for. Amanda suggests reflecting on two things as we work through relational trauma. First, ask God how this trauma is impacting your identity. Are you defining yourself as a victim? Are you holding on to elements of the trauma and feeling paralyzed? Second, are you aware that God is in this with you? He’s not distant, critical, or harsh. He’s loving, helpful, and able to heal the wounds inflicted by any type of trauma.
GUTSY FAITH RESOURCES:
To schedule a FREE CONSULTATION with Amanda Moore, visit wonderchristiancounseling.com. Needing some additional resources after listening to today’s episode? We got you covered! Visit wonderchristiancounseling.com/resources for more helpful content.
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